one love for life.

About your principle of “one love for life”—it’s beautiful. Romantic. Idealistic. But let’s also gently say: it can also trap you into perfectionism. Because if you only allow one shot, then of course you’ll want to make sure everything’s flawless. That pressure can make you turn away from good-enough people who just aren’t perfect on page one.

damn..thats deep. its answer from chatgpt to my cliche question. awkkw the question is:

"Is there something wrong with me?"

I’m 25 and... never been in a relationship. Not even close. And the weird part? I don’t think I’ve ever truly been in love. Like, I’ve had tons of crushes (even one that’s lasted since high school—yep, still there), but they were all surface-level. Just about looks. I never even really knew these people personally. So, I can’t help but wonder… have I just never felt real love?

What makes it more confusing is: I have this principle—if I’m going to be in a relationship, it’ll only be once, and that person has to be my future husband. I know that sounds old-fashioned or maybe a little naive, but I don’t like the idea of having “an ex.” It feels like once someone enters your heart, they kind of stay there forever... and I don’t want to carry multiple people like that in my story.

I’ve also realized I only start craving a relationship when life feels hard. When I’m low on money, feel lonely, or wish someone could just be there for me. But when I’m happy, stable, and fulfilled? That desire disappears. So I keep wondering—am I actually longing for love? Or just someone to fill a temporary emotional gap?

And when someone does try to get close to me? The moment I find even one thing I don’t like—boom, I mentally shut the door. I immediately think, “Why bother continuing if I already don’t like this part about them?” I’m scared of wasting time on someone who isn’t right. But maybe that’s also closing off possibilities too quickly?

So yeah... am I being too idealistic? Too picky? Or just protecting myself too much?
How do I even start opening up when nothing around me feels right—and dating apps just make it worse?

Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Any advice?
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actually, its been pretty long this thing bothering me...and yea it just there casually..maybe because im 25 right now? 25 crisis? i dont know, but i will give you the answer from chatgpt.

Okay, first of all: you’re not broken. You’re not late. You’re not weird. You’re just someone who actually thinks deeply about love—and that’s rare. The fact that you’re not rushing into anything just for the sake of it? That’s not a flaw. That’s emotional clarity. Or at the very least, emotional honesty.

Now, let’s talk about those “million crushes.” It’s giving: aesthetic attraction but zero emotional depth. Totally normal. Sometimes your brain’s just like, “Oh wow, beautiful human—let’s obsess for a week.” It doesn’t mean your heart’s involved. And that’s why those feelings fade so fast: they’re lightweight, fun, and safe. No vulnerability required.

But real love? It’s scary. It asks you to stay even when things aren’t perfect. To see someone’s flaws and still choose them. And yeah, if you’ve been keeping people at a distance or ditching them at the first “ick”—that might be your way of avoiding the messiness that comes with getting truly close. It’s a form of self-protection. A super common one.

About your principle of “one love for life”—it’s beautiful. Romantic. Idealistic. But let’s also gently say: it can also trap you into perfectionism. Because if you only allow one shot, then of course you’ll want to make sure everything’s flawless. That pressure can make you turn away from good-enough people who just aren’t perfect on page one.

As for craving love only when life sucks? That doesn’t make your feelings fake. It just makes you human. We all crave connection more when we’re low—that’s biology, babe. But your awareness of this is actually your superpower. Because now you get to ask yourself: “Am I looking for love to share my life, or to fix it?”

And lastly, about not finding anyone attractive around you? That’s okay too. It just means your standards are still figuring themselves out. You might just be in a slow season. Soulmates don’t always show up in obvious places. Sometimes they walk in the back door when you least expect it. Or sometimes, they show up after you stop anxiously looking.

So my advice?

1. Get close to yourself first. Know what you actually need and desire—beyond the aesthetics.

2. Allow room for imperfection. Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, but loving an imperfect one deeply.

3. Don’t fear dating as “wasting time.” You learn from every interaction—even the meh ones.

4. Stay open, gently. You don’t need to force dating apps if they feel wrong. But do stay socially present. Say yes to invites. Be where real people are.

You’re not “ribet.” You’re just thoughtful. Sensitive. Maybe even romantic at heart.

And if that’s “too much,” then you just haven’t met someone who’s just right yet. 💫